8:02 p.m. - 2002-12-16
overturned
I'm tired, and my eyes are sore for some reason.. I came home to find my mom feeling sick and weak so I made her something to eat and helped her up to bed and did her laundry for her..Now I'm more exhausted than ever, though..but she always takes care of me when I don't feel good so I really wanted to help her. She's a really good mom, and sometimes I feel bad that she doesn't get have the recognition she deserves or someone watching over her when she doesn't feel good the way she does for me tirelessly whenever I'm sick, day or night. My thoughts keep going to bigger parts of life than finals..my mom, Christmas, my grandfather, and people I love and care about..I'm so tired and so easily emotional right now though. The end of the day had me in tears from the feeling I can't do all this..Little by little the obligations and tasks seem to stip away bits of me until all there is left is a girl who needs to sleep for 3 days straight once finals are done..I do hope tomorrow goes by smoothly, or at least blindly if not that..I just want to get through the day so I can come home and rest, that's all I want.. I'm quite disappointed lately, no matter how hard I try, it just doesn't seem to be enough. I don't have the stamina I use to for such things, true, but I'm so easily overwhelmed and driven to tears by it all.. I pulled over by the bank and just let it all out after school and then drove home in the rain. I can't even say something awful is going on..it's just overwhelming, all of this..I wish I was stronger, I wish I could juggle more and stay true to myself at the same time..
